Oh My God!
by Gianna Sparrow
Summary: Carol and Crystal spot Valkyrie with Skulduggery. Her family finds out about magic. All hell breaks loose. This is gonna be interesting... Multi-chap. I'm bad at summaries. Please R&R?
1. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!

**Hi guys!**

**I have read the whole series, but I needed Carol and Crystal to still be in high school, so it's set after Dark Days. When they're about seventeen-ish and Valkyrie's fifteen.  
>I'm dedicating this to my imagination, for being so awesome!<br>And I'm not abandoning my last fanfiction, I'll finish it when I am done with this.**

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><p>Carol and Crystal were walking to school together, planning on ways to embarrass Stephanie in front of everyone.<br>They thought and thought, but they couldn't think of anything. Obviously because they didn't have brains to think with.

"How about spilling our drinks all over her at lunch." suggested Crystal.  
>"Maybe, we could trip her, that would be fun." said Carol.<br>"Ooh, I know. You know those bananas mom gave us, trip her with the peals"  
>"Nah, how would we get her to trip on them, let alone infront of everyone?" said Carol as they rounded a corner.<br>"I've got it!" yelled Crystal.

She told the idea to Carol knowing she'd agree.

"Perfect." said Carol.

School was about two or three blocks away now, so they didn't have a lot of time to formulate a plan.  
>But somehow, even with their lack of brain cells they managed to.<p>

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><p>Valkyrie sat in the passenger seat of the Bentley, whining her head off.<p>

"But Skulduggery, I don't wanna go! It's evil I tell you! EVIL!" she whined.  
>"Valkyrie, you know very well that when there's no cases to solve you have to go. Weather you like it or." he told her as he drove.<br>"B…bu…but."  
>"You have to go! End of discussion."<br>"But I don't wanna go to school! Especially if I have to share it with my cousins!"  
>"Shut up."<p>

They drove on until they reached her school.  
>Valkyrie was still wondering why he'd made her go with him, she was perfectly capable of walking.<br>It was probably so he could supervise, if he didn't she might send her reflection instead of go herself. That was probably it.

Skulduggery interrupted her thoughts, "Valkyrie, we're here."

Skulduggery put his disguise on, and they both got out the car to say goodbye.

"Skulduggery, why did you park the Bentley in front of the school? Everyone can see you, and your eye-catching car."  
>"Oops."<br>"Oops indeed, bye Skulduggery, I'm going to hate forever for this."  
>"Bye Valkyrie." he said, completely ignoring her comment.<p>

He got back in the Bentley and drove off.

Leaving Valkyrie to enjoy the hell-hole she was being forced to go to. She walked in, feeling sorry for herself.

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><p>Carol and Crystal were watching everything going on from behind bush. They had planned to watch her every move, but landed up finding her with Skulduggery.<p>

"Oh my God! That was the guy from Gordon's funeral! What was Stephanie doing with him!" yelled**/**asked Carol.  
>"How am I supposed to know!" yelled Crystal.<br>"Oh God, oh God, oh God!" they yelled in unison.  
>"She was with an older man!" yelled Crystal, sensing scandal.<br>"Not just any older man, one of Uncle Gordon's creepy friends!" yelled Carol.  
>"What if she's one of them!" they yelled at the same time.<br>"We have to tell mom!" yelled Carol.  
>"And Aunt Melissa!" yelled Crystal.<p>

And so they continued their OMG moment until the school bell rang. They rushed in before they were late.  
>Now they had two ways to embarrass her…<p>

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><p><strong>I hope you liked that, sorry about it being so short. The next chapter will be longer.<br>****Strangely, this only took half an hour to write. Usually fanfictions take me hours.  
><strong>**I'll have the next chapter done as soon as possible.  
><strong>**Review or I'll put you on my kill list!  
><strong>_**please review (batter eyelashes)**_


	2. School

**This chapter will be longer than the last, my fans. (That is if I have any.)  
><strong>**I don't own the characters, Derek Landy does. I only own my OC's.  
><strong>**Um, remember to review.  
><strong>**Hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>Valkyrie walked into her first class, geography, how she hated it.<br>"What's the point? It's not like I'll ever need it. They could teach us more about the countries if they actually took us there. Ah, Paris.  
>Wait a minute! I can get Fletcher to take me there! Why didn't I think of this sooner!" she thought to herself as she sat down.<p>

"Good morning class." said their geography teacher, Mr Higgins.  
>"Good morning Mr…" they all looked up to read the teachers name tag. "Higgins."<br>"Bunch of lousy good-for-nothings, can't even be bothered to learn my name." he mumbled.

He shrugged of his temper and began teaching; "Today we will be learning about… blah, blah, blaah…" was all Valkyrie could hear.

She went on ignoring him, only pretending to be interested.  
>When they started working, Valkyrie didn't know what the hell she was supposed to do. So she just took peeks at other peoples work, hoping they wouldn't notice.<p>

After about twenty minutes Leanne Winston yelled, "Stephanie's copying my work!"  
>"Stop it Stephanie, you've got detention with me lunch."<p>

Valkyrie finished the lesson, knowing her marks would be awful because Leanne had stopped her from copying peoples work.  
>She went on to the next lesson, maths, dreading every moment of it.<p>

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><p>Carol and Crystal walked out the class they'd just been in, it was ten minutes till the next class started so they had plenty of time to put their plan into action.<br>They found the boy they were looking for. The school bully, Jack Kingsly, had always had a thing for them so he wouldn't mind doing favours.  
>They approached him, hoping he'd agree to this.<p>

"Hi Jack!" they said in unison.  
>"Oh hi Carol, Crystal." he said, suddenly perking up.<br>"We were wondering if you could do us a favour?" said Crystal.  
>"Anything for you, ladies."<br>"Challenge our cousin, Stephanie, to a fight. On the sports field after school. Tell everyone in hers and our grade to be there."  
>"Sure."<p>

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><p>Valkyrie walked out of maths and headed for art class. She went in and sat down. Valkyrie liked art class, it was one of the only thing she liked about school. Especially because it didn't have any writing out do in it and you got to have fun drawing, painting, making things etc.<br>She sat down at a table and waited for everyone else to arrive. Once everyone was there the teacher, Miss Andrews, began teaching.

"Good morning class!"  
>"Good morning Miss Andrews!"<p>

"Today we'll be drawing pictures with charcoal. So try not to get your hands dirty. And if you do, don't wipe them on your clothes. Please! I don't want your parents complaining." she told them. Miss Andrews was funny. She was Valkyrie's favourite teacher.

And so the lesson continued and unfortunately, Hannah Foley got charcoal all over her favourite white shirt.

"I thought I told you not to!" said Miss Andrews. Everyone laughed.  
>"Sorry." said Hannah.<br>"Ah never mind, I made sure I had spares."

The lesson finished and Valkyrie left the classroom feeling happy. It was the one nice thing that had happened that day. She wished all lessons were that fun. She checked the time on her watch; it was lunch time, yay! And then she remembered she had detention.  
>Valkyrie walked down the hallway like a condemned prisoner, dreading her very existence. Then she remembered not to, because the end of the world would have happened if she hadn't been there.<p>

She entered the classroom and sat down.  
>There were two other students there, Pete McCarthy and Kim Patricks; both looked like detention was a normal thing for them.<p>

"Attention students!" demanded Mr Higgins.  
>"I want Pete McCarthy to learn Shakespeare's play 'Hamlet' off by heart,<br>Kim Patricks to read the dictionary and write down how many E's are in it, and Stephanie Edgley to write 'I will not copy people's work' one hundred times on the board. I don't have time to sit here with you and I'm hungry so I'm going to lunch and you're going to sit here quietly and do as you're told."

He left the classroom and turned a corner, disappearing from sight.

"So why are you guys here?" asked Valkyrie as she began writing.  
>"I put a whoopy-cushion on the science teacher's chair." said Pete.<br>"And I wrote graffiti on the walls." said Kim.  
>"I don't think we even need to ask why you're here." said Pete, looking at what she was writing.<p>

And so they went through detention in almost complete silence. Mr Higgins returned and the bell rang. All three of them ran out the classroom screaming: "Yahoo!"

Valkyrie walked down the hallway to her locker. Someone tapped her shoulder.

"What do you want?" Valkyrie asked, she turned around to see… Jack Kingsly.  
>"Meet me on the sports field after school, be prepared for a fight." said Jack, walked on without another word.<br>"Oh joy…" muttered Valkyrie.

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><p>"When the fight's over we'll tell mom and Aunt Melissa what we saw, Aunt Melissa will only be angrier when she sees the state Stephanie is gonna be in." said Crystal.<p>

"This is gonna be rich." said Carol.

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><p>Valkyrie finished the last class of the day and walked out into the hallway, everybody was giving her strange looks, some people even wished her luck, they were all heading down to the sports field. They must have been told about the fight. She went into the girls bathroom and called Skulduggery.<br>He picked up on the third ring.

"Hello Valkyrie, how school going?"  
>"Fine, pick me up later than usual."<br>"Why?"  
>"Bully fight…"<p>

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><p><strong>Hope you liked that, we're all rooting for Valkyrie!<br>I didn't really know how to do the detention scene, since I havn't been in detention since I was eight.  
><strong>**I'll have the next chapter done soon, I promise!  
><strong>**Remember to review! DO IT!**


	3. The Fight

**Hi!  
><strong>**This chapter is gonna be really great! (I hope.) By the way it contains mild language, sorry.  
><strong>**Um, when I said I wasn't going to abandon my other story I may have been lying.  
><strong>**(I am considering it, that doesn't mean I will stop doing it.) Don't be upset, when I'm finished this I'll finish that… hopefully.  
><strong>**Well, enjoy this chappie!**

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><p><em><span>The Girls Bathroom:<span>_

Valkyrie went in a cubicle and changed into the clothes Ghastly had made her. She had taken them to school that morning in case some bad guy tried his luck. Since Jack had told her to be ready for a fight, she supposed she might as well ware them.  
>Even though Skulduggery had forbidden her to use magic in front of mortals, Valkyrie decided it couldn't hurt to use a bit of air, secretly.<br>She obviously wouldn't do anything else but that, so she left her necromancy ring in her locker.

Valkyrie walked down the corridor, confident she was going to win. She was the girl who had helped defeat Serpine, killed the grotesquery, fought the Faceless Ones and been to hell and back. One bully would be a piece of cake.

Valkyrie strolled out the school and down to the sports field. She could see everyone she knew from school there, even Carol and Crystal. They all stared, anticipating the fight. Valkyrie just smirked at them, they stared harder.

Jack Kingsly walked in, cracking his knuckles. All the spectators looked frightened, some gasped.  
>The Toxic Twins did nothing, they'd obviously set this up.<p>

"You ready to get your ass kicked?" asked Jack.  
>Valkyrie didn't answer. She looked disgusted; this was the twin's pathetic excuse for a bully. Please.<br>"Oh, so you're gonna be a pussy now?"  
>She smirked again.<br>"Have a go if you think you're hard enough…" said Valkyrie, she could almost hear Tanith yell "That's my line!"

He lunged, trying to punch her in the face. But Valkyrie dodged out the way, rolling and coming up. Jack falling to the ground face first.  
>Cheers and laughs could be heard from the crowd.<br>Jack got up quickly and ran at Valkyrie trying to punch her again. She caught his hand and by manipulating the air, gave him a fist to the chin that sent him flying five metres. The crowd stared, gobsmacked. Some gasped, some were lost for words.  
>The Toxic Twins weren't part of the second group.<p>

"How the hell did she do that!" yelled**/**asked Carol.  
>"Oh my fricking unicorns! Is she like the guy from Smallville!" yelled<strong>**asked Crystal.

Valkyrie walked over to him.

"You really need to get some knew moves." Valkyrie said, mocking him.

Jack got up after a while, and ran at her and trying to knock her over. Valkyrie used the air to stop him; he was millimetres away from her.  
>She grabbed him and him flipped over her hip. No-one noticed that she'd used magic.<p>

He got up and managed to get a kick at Valkyrie.  
>She fell to the ground but jumped back up, landing on her feet. Amazingly, not using her hands at all.<br>Everyone in the crowd gasped, even the twins.

"That whole gasp thing is getting really annoying!" yelled Valkyrie. The crowd shut up immediately.

Valkyrie ran at him, jumping into the air and kicking him in the ribs. He fell to the ground, ribs broken, Valkyrie standing over him.  
>She moved away, waiting for him to get up. He got back up… eventually.<p>

"So you've come back for more?" smiled Valkyrie.  
>"I'm not backing away from this fight!" he yelled, clutching his broken ribs.<br>"We'll see about that."

Valkyrie ran at him and punched him in the face, he went out cold. His face was bloody, nose probably broken.  
>The crowd stared, horrified. No-one said anything for a few minutes.<br>They carried on staring at the scene. At the guy that was supposed to be tough, lying unconscious.  
>And the girl that was supposed to be a weak outcast, who'd put him there.<br>This was a lot for them to take in. Someone broke the silence.

"But you're supposed to be the wimp!" shouted Crystal.  
>"Yeah!" yelled Carol.<br>Valkyrie didn't say anything for a while. "You know, I thought you two could do better than that." she said.  
>They didn't answer.<br>"You two are pathetic." She spat at the ground, disgusted.

The crowd parted for her as Valkyrie walked away.  
>She walked out the school gates, getting into an old car that looked to be a Bentley. Nobody could see the drivers face.<p>

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><p>The crowd began gossiping among themselves.<p>

"How the hell did she knock him out?" asked one of Jack's friends, Sean Gable.  
>"I can't believe he got beat up by a girl. And not just any girl, Stephanie Edgley!" said Pete McCarthy.<br>"Whose car was that?" asked Kim Patricks.  
>"Since when does Stephanie go home in a car?" asked Hannah Foley.<p>

The questions kept on being asked, and no-one was answering.  
>Carol and Crystal didn't give any answers, they were too busy in there own thoughts to bother.<p>

They walked home in shock;

"How could that plan fail!" asked Carol.  
>"Tell me about it, the plan was perfect!" said Crystal.<br>"And how on earth is it possible that Stephanie could beat up Jack! That like against the laws of physics!"  
>"I know!"<br>"It's just not possible."  
>"Something's wrong here. Seeing her with that Skulduggery dude, and her suddenly being all invincible. It just doesn't add up." said Crystal.<br>"Anyway, we can still get her in trouble, on a much larger scale."  
>"True, she better watch out. 'Cause we're gonna make sure she gets in some sorta trouble."<p>

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><p><strong>That was really fun to write! It was my first ever fight scene! I think that was the best chapter I've ever written so far! (It better be) I'll have the next chapter done soon. (I promise!<strong>**) And I won't drop this story; it's too fun to write.**

**Remember to review!**

**RRRRR  
><strong>**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
><strong>**VVVVVVVV  
><strong>**IIIIIIIIIIIIII  
><strong>**EEEEEEEEEEEE  
><strong>**WWWWW  
><strong>**!**


	4. Trouble

**Hi!  
>Hope you've enjoyed the story so far. From the last chapter and onwards the real trouble begins, but I think you already noticed that…<br>Um, well, enjoy! (Remember to review!)**

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><p>The crowd parted for Valkyrie as she walked away.<br>She strolled out the school gates and walked up to the Bentley, opening the door and getting in.

"Hi Skulduggery." Valkyrie mumbled; she clearly wasn't in the mood to talk.  
>"Valkyrie what were you thinking!" yelled Skulduggery as he drove.<br>"What'd I do?"  
>"You just beat up the school bully, in public! What happened to keeping a low profile!"<br>"You were watching!"  
>"Of course I was! You call me telling me to pick you up late because you're getting in a fight with mortal! I have every excuse imaginable to be watching!"<br>"I'm sorry! I was in a bad mood already when he challenged me! I had to go through detention today! Do you have any idea how awful it is to write 'I will not copy peoples work' out one hundred times!"  
>"…No."<br>"Didn't think so!"  
>"That isn't a good enough excuse. Hundreds of kids were watching! How are you supposed to explain what they saw to them!"<br>"Get Geoffrey Scrutinious to sought it out, it's his job to do that stuff anyway."  
>"Well what about Carol and Crystal? What if they tell your mom? And what if they saw you get in this car? How would you explain that?"<br>"I don't know!"  
>"OK Valkyrie, I'll let you off the hook this time, but if you ever do that again there will be consequences. Promise me you'll never do it again."<br>"Fine… I promise."

They drove the rest of the way home in silence. He stopped at the pier, and they got out the car.

"Bye Skul'." said Valkyrie.  
>"Why did you call me 'Skul'?" asked Skulduggery<br>"Because 'Skulduggery' is too long."  
>"Even if it is too long don't call me that. It sounds like trash talk. I'm a sophisticated man, I will not be ridiculed."<br>"Whatever…"  
>"See, your doing it again, stop now."<br>"What I do?"  
>"You just did it again!"<br>"You're getting on my nerves, please be dismissed."  
>"Why'd you stop talking all 'slang' now? And why are talking like me when I see Fletcher?"<br>"Stop asking questions. And I thought I told you, you were dismissed?"  
>"Ahgh, fine. Bye Valkyrie."<br>"Bye Skul'."  
>"Don't call me that!"<p>

He got back in the Bentley and drove off.

"God, what an ego-maniac." Thought**/**giggled Valkyrie as she turned a corner and walked up the road to her house.

She carried on walking, unfortunately her house was at the other end of the road and the road practically lasted forever.  
>She suddenly remembered she was still wearing her special clothes.<p>

"Oh, shit!" she mumbled. Valkyrie quickly ran behind a bush and changed into her normal clothes, stuffing her special ones in her back-pack.

She ran up the road to her house as fast as she could, she was late.  
>Valkyrie grabbed her keys out her pocket and unlocked the front door. It had been so long since she'd actually gone through her front door.<p>

"Hi mum!" she yelled.

Her mum stormed into the hallway, an expression of 'I'm pissed with you' on her face.  
>"Young lady, where have you been!" she demanded.<br>Valkyrie quickly made up an excuse; "I met up with Hannah on the way home, we kinda lost track of time… sorry."

"I just got a call from Beryl saying Carol and Crystal saw you get out a black car this morning when you arrived at school, and they said they saw you get in it when you were leaving, they said that man 'Skulduggery Pleasant' was driving it. They also said you got in a fight with the school bully this morning. I also got a call from Kim Patricks's mum, Leanne Winston's mum and Hannah Foley's mum saying the same thing. Explain yourself."

Valkyrie went pale; "I am so busted." she thought. "Um…" her lips wouldn't move to say anything else.  
>"Go to your room! When your father gets home you've got a lot of explaining to do."<p>

Valkyrie walked up the stairs and into her room, closing the door behind her. She sat on her bed and grabbed her cellphone.  
>She called Skulduggery; he picked up on the second ring.<p>

"Hi Valkyrie!" he boomed.  
>"Ssh! Carol and Crystal saw me get in and out the Bentley with you. They phoned my mom about it." she whispered.<br>"Oh god… um, look Valkyrie there's nothing I can do."  
>"Am I gonna have to tell them?"<br>"I'm afraid so…"  
>"Well maybe if you came over it would be easier to explain?"<br>"I'll try, but I honestly think they'll faint if they see me."  
>"Just, please come. I can't possibly explain by myself."<br>"I'll be there in…?"  
>Valkyrie checked her watch, "One hour."<br>"Bye, good luck not getting grounded."  
>"Bye Skulduggery."<p>

She put the phone down and waited. Every second felt like weeks, every minute felt like months and every hour felt like years.  
>It seemed like eternity until her dad arrived home.<p>

"Melissa! Stephanie! I'm home!" he yelled up the stairs.

Valkyrie could hear her mum rush down the stairs. She couldn't make out what they were saying but she figured her mom was telling him about the phone calls she'd gotten. He didn't sound very happy.

"Stephanie, get down here now!" he yelled.

Valkyrie walked out her room and down the stairs, this wasn't going to be easy.

"Come," here said pointing to the dining room.

They all walked in and sat down.

"Stephanie, what were you doing with that man?" her father asked.  
>"Uh, how do I say this…?"<br>"I asked you a question." he demanded.  
>"I… um… uh… he's a friend…" she tried.<br>"Stephanie, your father wants a proper answer." her mum told her.  
>"Um… magic."<br>"What?" her parents said in unison.  
>The doorbell rang before she could answer. "Thank God he's here." She mumbled.<br>"I'll get it." said her mum.

She rushed to the door and opened it to see… Skulduggery Pleasant.

"Oh, it's you," she said looking him up and down like he was some kind of freak.  
>"Mrs Edgley, may I come in?"<br>"Uh… of course."

She led him to the dining room. Valkyrie's dad was shooting daggers at him. **(Figuratively speaking)**

"Hello, Mr Edgley." said Skulduggery.  
>"Good afternoon Mr Pleasant." He didn't look at all happy to see him.<br>"Val… I mean Stephanie asked me to come over, she said it might be easier to explain if I was here."  
>"Oh, well, please take a seat."<p>

Skulduggery sat down across the table from him, trying not to run away screaming "Mommy!"

Valkyrie's dad began interrogating them; "Stephanie, what were you doing with one of Gordon's… _friends_." he asked, slightly disgusted.  
>Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked at each other, tough question. "Magic," they both said at the same time.<br>"I don't know what you mean?" he said, puzzled.  
>They both clicked their fingers, producing a flame. "Magic," they said.<p>

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><p><strong>I know it wasn't very good but I had writers block, it was the best I could do! Sorry.<strong>

**Remember to review!  
>I won't make the next chapter until I get at least three reviews, so if you want to see what happens next… R-E-V-I-E-W-!<strong>


	5. They Gasped, She Fainted And Other Stuff

**I know I didn't get all of those reviews I wanted, but I wrote this chapter anyway. (See my fans, I do care about you!) But I'll only do that three times at the most, if I don't get them on the fourth time there will be no more chapters until I do get them!**

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><p><em>They both clicked their fingers, producing a flame. "Magic," they said.<em>

Valkyrie's parents went pale, her mum looked as if she were about to faint and her dad just gaped at the flames that Skulduggery and Valkyrie held in their hands. They stared in shock.

"Wha… what… h-h-how d-did y-you…?" her mum tried to ask but couldn't bring her lips to form the words.  
>"W-well, how c-can we be sure, the t-two of you c-could be using a l-lighter to d-do that… s-somehow." her dad said trying his luck.<br>"Valkyrie, I think he wants verification." said Skulduggery.

Valkyrie grabbed her necromancy ring out her pocket and slid it on. Skulduggery moved the air to pick up a candle while Valkyrie wrapped the shadows around a flower vase. Both items floated in the air.

"I understand… I think. Gordon used to talk about _people _who could do… _magic_." said her dad.  
>Her mum didn't say anything; she just carried on staring from the two floating objects to Valkyrie and Skulduggery and back.<br>"Uh, what was that you called Stephanie?" asked Valkyrie's dad.  
>"Valkyrie, that's what I go by now, Valkyrie Cain." said Valkyrie.<br>"Oh, what's wrong with 'Stephanie'?" asked her mum, finally bringing herself to say something.  
>"Nothing it's just that when you become a mage you have to choose a 'taken name' to stop people from controlling you with your 'given name'." she said.<br>"Oh, I see… not really." said her mum.  
>"I'll explain some other time."<p>

"But still, how does _m-magic _explain what Stephanie was doing in your car with you?" asked Valkyrie's dad.  
>"I'm a detective, and she is my work partner, Mr Edgley." said Skulduggery.<br>"I still don't see how that explains anything."  
>"I drove Stephanie to school because I was trying to make sure she didn't send her 'reflection' instead of going herself."<br>"Reflection?"  
>"Whenever we're working on a case she summons her 'reflection' to go to school for her while she's busy working."<br>"Oh, but still, how can a mere child be a detective?"  
>"Long story short, she forced me to let her do it. I didn't have a choice; she had taken my favourite hat hostage."<br>"You let my daughter do dangerous police investigations because she took your _hat_ hostage?"  
>"Something like that. And they aren't exactly <em>police<em> investigations, we work for the sanctuary, that's head of the magical community in Ireland. And neither are they _investigations,_ but more of stopping evil mages trying to take over the world, or trying to bring back The Faceless Ones."  
>"Who are The Faceless Ones?" asked Valkyrie's mum.<br>"They're the evil dark gods who if return into this reality will destroy the world as we know it." said Skulduggery.  
>"Ah-huh, I think I actually understood that. No, no, it's gone now."<p>

"One more question, what's with the disguise?" asked Valkyrie's dad.  
>"You don't wanna know." said Valkyrie.<br>"Yes, I do."  
>"Skulduggery, I think he wants you to take it off."<br>"Mr Edgley, this isn't going to be pretty. Are you sure you want to see this?" asked Skulduggery.  
>"Yes, my wife and I would like to see you without the disguise."<br>"Well, be prepared for something horrifying."

Skulduggery stood up and began removing his disguise, taking off his hat, sunglasses and scarf, revealing that there was no flesh or muscle, just bone. That he had no face, but only a skull. He then took off his gloves, showing he had only bone there too. After that he took his coat showing off his anorexic form.  
>Both Valkyrie's parents gasped, staring at the man that wasn't a man, the mere skeleton before their eyes.<br>Valkyrie's mum fainted, falling off her chair.

"Y…you…you…you're…you're…a…a _sk-skeleton_!" Valkyrie's dad screamed, grabbing a sharp knife. He got out his chair and slowly backed away to the other side of the room. "Don't come any closer!" he yelled waving the knife around.  
>"Mr Edgley, you're over reacting, I don't mean any harm. And please put the knife down before you hurt someone." Skulduggery pleaded.<br>"Never! Stephanie, get away from him!"  
>"Dad, he's not gonna hurt you, calm down." Valkyrie told him soothingly.<p>

He suddenly collapsed to the floor, dropping the knife and crawling into the corner. He hugged his knees and began rocking back and forth. "I'm going crazy aren't I? My little girl works for a magical 'sanctuary' and her partner is a talking skeleton in a suit." he said as he rocked, staring at the talking skeleton that was now putting on its coat.  
>Valkyrie slowly walked towards her father and knelt down beside him.<p>

"Dad, you're not going crazy. I know it's a lot to take in, but you're perfectly sane.  
>"I am?"<br>"Yes, you are."  
>"Oh thank God. For a minute there I thought I'd gone bonkers, round the bend, loony!"<br>"You haven't gone bonkers, round the bend or loony. You're just in a state of shock."  
>"That's good to know!"<br>"Yes, it is indeed." said Skulduggery. "Valkyrie, I think I'll be going now, before your father faints too."  
>"Good idea," said Valkyrie.<p>

Skulduggery picked up Mrs Edgley and placed her on the couch in the living room. He said goodbye and left Valkyrie and her dad to think about the events that had occurred that day.

"Stephanie, I'm just going to go to my room and rest. I've had rather exhausting day, as you can imagine."  
>"Dad, trust me, your day was no where near as bad as mine."<br>"Really, well you can tell me what happened with you some other time." He said as he climbed the stairs and went his room.

Valkyrie went to her room as well and lay on her bed.

"Official worst-day-ever." she mumbled.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed that! That might be the last chapter but I don't know for sure. (I don't wanna leave the story at a major cliffhanger like everyone else did, but I'm all out of ideas... sorry.)<br>I'm thinking about turning it into a kind of series thingy, like the 'The Chronicles Of Cain'. That would be fun.**

**My next story is gonna be a kinda 'pure humour' thing.  
>Try and read my other stories if you can!<strong>

**Oh, also remember to review!**

**RRRRRRRRR  
><strong>**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
><strong>**VVVVVV  
><strong>**IIIIIIIIIII  
><strong>**EEEEEEEEEEE  
><strong>**WWWWW**

**R-E-V-I-E-W-!**

**(DO IT!)  
><strong>**(I know you want to.)**


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